


#YesAllWomen

by timeheist



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 01:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1762283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeheist/pseuds/timeheist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara Oswin, being a woman in the 21st century, has had her fair share of catcalling and wolfwhistling. Captain Jack Harkness, being of the 41st century, has had enough of it. But Clara doesn’t need a knight in shining greatcoat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#YesAllWomen

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Misogyny, mild violence, alcohol consumption  
> A/N: This one sort of incorporates ‘favourite companion’ too, because Jack. I’d also like to apologise in advance for shoddy fanfiction written after a near one year hiatus from writing due to writer’s block, and done so in one sitting, by someone who thinks their punchlines are funny.  
> Dedications: Laura, who prompted me with “but I have abs!”, of all things.

“Are you interested?”

If Clara had to say that just one thing about travelling in the TARDIS had been a disappointment, it would be that misogyny and sexism seemed to have followed her all the way from twenty first century earth to all four corners of the galaxy. As it turned out there were better places in the universe but there were also worse, and humans weren't alone in being prejudiced gits. It wasn't that having to look over her shoulder bothered her so much; it was, and she was ashamed to admit it, something that she had kind of gotten used to. She knew now to travel alone at night, and the Doctor seemed content to let her carry the TARDIS key curled up into the fist of one hand, just in case something went wrong and he was distracted by something shiny and left her to her own devices. Hey, a girl could do worse than plan ahead. And it hadn't happened, yet.

“Sorry, no money...”

Of course on the day that it did, the Doctor was naturally elsewhere. He had a one track mind, Clara knew that (and that mind occasionally forgot that it had passengers and companions). Unfortunately, so did the purple-skinned, tripedal alien standing in front of her, one arm outstretched over her shoulder so as to essentially pin her to the wall behind her. And the alien – she assumed it was male, considering the beard, but now she thought about it she didn't actually have a clue what facial hair meant in purple-skinned tripedal aliens – had a mind only for flirting with her, whether she wanted them to or not.

She'd been trying to talk her way out of the situation for half an hour now, to no avail, and was inches away from screaming out of sheer frustration. At least that might have gotten someone's attention. The alien leaned in closer still, placing his hand on her shoulder and breaking out what it presumably thought was the desperately sexy 'come with me baby, I'll show you the planet inside out'... and all of a sudden, it was half a metre away on the floor. Not caring to know who or what had intervened and just glad to get a moment's peace, Clara stepped to the side, looked left and right for any sign of the Doctor, and then crossed her arms over her chest, glaring straight at the very human looking man who had just punched her would-be assailant in the mouth.

“I was doing just fine on my own, thank you.”

“Oh come on...!” The stranger smirked, raising an eyebrow at the alien who had just clambered to their feet and opened its mouth to argue. Without a seconds hesitation, it turned and stalked off down the street, muttering something about 'ungrateful' and 'bitch'. Clara rolled her eyes. “Not even a thank you?”

“At least he was just words.” Clara snorted, raising an eyebrow of her own in her best I-am-the-teacher-and-you-will-listen-to-me voice. Maybe it would work on hugely attractive white knights in shining greatcoats. “For all I know you're even worse.”

“I just got rid of him for you.”

“You punched him in the face.” He laughed incredulously. “Can't a gentleman defend a pretty lady?”

“They can if they can look past the pretty lady.”

For a moment, Clara thought she'd said too much. You could never really tell with strangers, strange aliens, or strange men, and the more she looked at this man closely, there was something up with him. Something... impossible. Maybe he wasn't so human after all and if he was, how had he gotten here, anyway? The Doctor had said there were rarely ever humanoids on the planet. But before she had a chance to find another excuse to leave the man started to laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose and then finally, extending a hand for her to shake.

“Captain Jack Harkness. How about you buy me a drink and I apologise repeatedly?”

***

“Impossible Girl, where have you- oh no.”

The Doctor should have known that given a couple of months, Jack would find another one of his companions to flirt with. He seemed to have some sort of radar. Companions wandered off – rule number one! - and Jack wandered into them, sometimes literally, and there he went again, the companions loved him and the Doctor was the meanie. He tapped his foot impatiently against the floor as his two companions – past and present – wandered through the TARDIS doors, arm in arm, drunk as sailors and thick as thieves.

“Again, Jack?”

“Come on, Doctor. I have abs!” Jack winked, falling into the console seat and offering Clara his lap. To the Doctor's embarrassed horror she took it, and a swig of whatever it was Jack was holding. “Girls love abs. Especially when they're getting rid of unwanted abs... I think I've said abs too many times.”

“Stop it.”

“He's just joking Doctor...” Clara pouted. “Don't be a spoil sport.” The Doctor simply blinked. “Besides, Jack's my new best friend.”

With a weary, parental sigh, the Doctor shut the TARDIS door behind them and leaned against it, mentally adding the planet they were on to the list of planets he was never going to take companions to again. He'd turned around for two seconds, and had lost Clara for two hours. Two hours in which she'd gotten drunk, met Jack, and generally been more imposible than usual. Well, he supposed that alone was something the two of them had in common. Clara and Jack, impossibilities of the unknown universe. It was almost like the plot in a television show...

“And why is that?”

“Because every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.” Clara punched Jack in the arm, and with a sheepish grin, he added, convincing the Doctor to write the entire adventure off once and for all: “Okay, not all men.”


End file.
